by Jack, Grade 6
Disclaimer: People who Like science, teach it, or know a lot about it may be triggered by this article
Semicolon Earth:
This has been a fact for ages now, and I'm ready to share. Our earth isn’t round. It’s not flat. It's not a triangular prism. It’s two pieces, The first is like this ˙ the second is under this one and looks like this , together they look like this ;. Our earth is a semi-colon. The makers of english devices and symbols like these hid the semicolon in our language hoping someone could find the truth. The government took them away because they knew too much. We can win this battle. The flat-earthers and the round-earthers are a distraction from the truth planted by corrupt scientists.
Light:
The light is another terrible secret made by our scientists and government. There is no sun. It's all a lie. We can all agree that fireflies or lightning bugs emit light, correct? Well the government has planted a giant light that shines on our earth powered by you guessed it fireflies. They crush them and they emit light for around a day. But they didn't make a ton of farms to breed them. They thought that this would last forever. But we are running out of fireflies therefore we will run out of light. Humans actually use their noses to breathe in light and it gives them energy and life. Smelling is a chip implanted by the government but that's another story. So when we run out of light our bodies sweat out all liquids. Eventually you bleed out. We can survive this. But we need to spread the word.